Are you choosing modesty in a sexual world? Are you glorifying God with your body? When the world says you are beautiful by your looks, God says you are beautiful by your heart. Let’s dive into how we can transform our hearts and become modest in all we do, say, and dress.
The Pain of Immodesty
If I had to sum up one of the hardest things for me to watch in our secular world, it would be watching young women and girls, especially Christian girls, dressing and posting in inappropriately clothing.
This breaks my heart for many reasons, but I have learned that there is a deeper rooted hurt or issue that needs to be addressed.
The sad truth of the matter, is there is no “winning” when dressing immodestly. When you or someone else dresses immodestly, you hurt yourself by sinning and damaging your relationship with God. But not only that, you also hurt others. You cause issues in other marriages and relationships by being a temptation or cause for lust.
Inappropriate clothing and actions just continues the circle of hurt in our world. The craving for worldly attention and affirmation from others, drives the evil desire to be “sexy” or “worthy”, which just leaves behind feelings of betrayal, low self-esteem, and heartache. This leads back to dressing inappropriately as a solution to fix it. The cycle then continues.
Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you, anyone who even looks at a woman with a sinful desire of wanting her has already sinned in his heart.“
The Christian Calling of Modesty
As Christians, we cannot forget that we are no longer held to the standards of the world, but the standards of God. We are called to live a holy life, free from our old ways of living. As Christians, clothing seems to be one of the few things that is deemed “necessary” to change. While other more blatant sins are called out on and spoke more about, the way we dress tends to just adapt to the fashion of the world, and it be completely fine.
We must remember what the Bible tells us about how we dress, how we present ourselves. When other people see us, our goal should be that they see Jesus. How can they see Jesus if we are dressed in a way causing us to sin, and the other people looking at us to sin? We must remember 3 things when we CHOOSE to dress modestly.
1. Our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.”
2. Our heart reflects our appearance.
1 Samuel 16:7 says, “But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’”
3. God commands modesty.
1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “…also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 says, “Do not adorn yourselves outwardly by braiding your hair, and by wearing gold ornaments or fine clothing; rather, let your adornment be the inner self with the lasting beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight.”
Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”
Proverbs 31:25 says, “Her clothes are strength and honor. She is full of joy about the future.”
1 Timothy 2:15 says, “Yet she will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty.”
Sirach 26:15 says, “A modest wife adds charm to charm, and no balance can weigh the value of a chaste soul.”
Sirach 26:24 says, “A shameless woman wears out reproach, but a virtuous daughter will be modest even before her husband.”
How Can I Be Modest?
Think about what it takes to be a follower of Jesus. To be a follower of Jesus, you must give up yourself, your selfishness, your wants, your desires, your life, and instead conform to be like Jesus. The mission of every follower of Jesus, is to try to be like Jesus!
What does this mean? This means you must put off your old self, you must do what you can, what you have to, in order to stop committing the sins that keep you from living a life like Jesus. This means YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE. Why sacrifice? Our sins are driven by our deepest desires, what we want or long for. This means that we must sacrifice that desire.
Finding The Root of Our Immodesty
When we think of modesty, whether we are talking about clothing, the way we speak, or the way we act, we have to think of what our hearts intention is, or what desire we have that is causing us to be immodest. The truth is with immodesty, there is a sinful, insecure, attention longing desire that WE MUST ADDRESS FIRST. How can we be modest if we don’t understand or acknowledge the reason we are being immodest?
Let’s take a look at a couple of examples.
Example 1: The Immodest Heart
A beautiful women is wearing an immodest swimsuit at the lake where my family is spending the day. This means that my husband, my children, and I could be easily be exposed to her cleavage and butt cheeks. I turn to my husband (or even think in my head) calling her a mean inappropriate name, and begin talking bitterly about how she is dressed.
Let us first acknowledge that the way she is dressed is NOT okay. It is completely appropriate and Biblical to not want that exposure for your husband, your children, or yourself. What is NOT okay, is then becoming immodest yourself by how you conduct yourself. THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE TO SIN. The deep root of your own immodesty and bitterness may come from previous sexual sin in your marriage, unfaithfulness, or your own insecurities that are causing anger or jealousy. THIS SIN IS THE ROOT THAT NEEDS ADDRESSED.
Example 2: Immodest Clothing “Trend”
You are on social media and you see a beautiful women dressed in an inappropriate dress or outfit. You notice that many people are telling her how beautiful she is, how hot her body is, how much they wish they could look like her or be her, and you grow the desire to: 1. Like the post, follow her, and support her behavior. 2. Become driven or jealous by the worldly attention she is getting, and begin to dress / post in similar inappropriate clothing, hoping for the same worldly attention and praise. 3. You are stuck in the current worldly mindset that one should be able to do whatever they want with their body, as long as it makes them happy. Therefore, everyone should be able to show off their “assets”, and it is okay.
In this example, we see that this women posting is striving to share her body for a sinful reason. Whether it be for likes, attention, pride, etc. it is NOT okay to be immodest in order to receive the praise of the world. Whether you are the woman posting that is described or the woman reacting, there is sinful root that needs to be addressed.
What does it come down to? Trying to fill a hole in your heart that ONLY Jesus can fill. Only God can give us the attention that we need, the praise that truly matters, and the affirmation we so desperately long for. It sounds so cliche, but it is the truth. If one was filled fully by likes, shares, comments, praise, etc. they wouldn’t continue to share post after post after post, trying to keep that attention coming.
“If worldly attention and affirmation was enough, we wouldn’t keep posting or dressing in way to ensure it doesn’t stop. We will never be filled by it, why? Because we were created for SO much more than to be a beautiful body! We were created to be one body in Christ. We were created in the image and likeness of Jesus, to be like Jesus. And being like Jesus is what fills us.”
-Kelsey
Choosing Modesty
The most important thing about transforming your life and changing your ways, is the fact that IT IS A CHOICE. You yourself are choosing to live for God, He is not forcing you. God never forces or makes you do anything, you have free will. Use that free will now, to choose to live for Jesus!
SHOP MY DRESSES:
I purchased each of these dresses with my own money, with the exception of three dresses my mom bought me for my birthday!
- Dress 1: Coral Dress: https://amzn.to/3xzRtNI
- Dress 2: Pale Blue Dress: https://amzn.to/3Uh4xjO
- Dress 3: Vintage Floral Dress: https://amzn.to/3VYWwBG
- Dress 4: Short Sleeve Brown Dress (nursing friendly): https://amzn.to/4aP9dD6
- Dress 5: Vintage Plaid Dress: https://amzn.to/3Ji79b6
- Dress 6: Black and Cheetah Dress: https://amzn.to/3UgmCP6
- Dress 7: Pink Polka Dot Dress: https://amzn.to/49A7fFu
- Dress 8: White Puff Sleeve Dress: https://amzn.to/3Q2GByd
- Dress 9: Multicolored Floral Dress: https://amzn.to/3UfQRpo
- Dress 10: Tan and Blue Dress: https://amzn.to/3Ub3lP5
- Dress 11: Beige Dress: https://amzn.to/3PZYPjP
- Dress 12: White Dress: https://amzn.to/3UeK534
- Dress 13: Green Dress (I have it in black, orange, and blue too): https://amzn.to/3xIRhvx
- Dress 14: Floral Dress (nursing friendly): https://amzn.to/3UeRMq7
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